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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26731990">Would you please shut up (and kiss me), man?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cedricstan/pseuds/cedricstan'>cedricstan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>American Revolution RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aliens Made Them Do It, Bromance, Bromance to Romance, Cheating, Drama &amp; Romance, Enemies to Lovers, I'm Sorry, M/M, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:41:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26731990</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cedricstan/pseuds/cedricstan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Pointed fingers, interruptions, orange tans.... Kidnapping?<br/>That was certainly not how Joe Biden's week was supposed to go.<br/>After the long-awaited presidential debate, Joe thought his week of seeing that nasty, out-spoken Donald Trump was over. When the president of the United States is kidnapped by the self-proclaimed Team Rocket, Joe must take it upon himself to rescue the very man he wants to unseat from the White House.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe Biden/Donald Trump</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Debate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The idea for this terrifying fanfiction came into my head as I was talking to my friends about the Presidential Debate.</p><p>Discord made me do it</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The debate was finally over.</p><p>The two presidential candidates, Joe Biden and Donald Trump, had been at it for the last ninety minutes, lashing out at each other and getting yelled at by the moderator. </p><p>Donald was escorted out with his wife and secret service. He was warned about an imposter being among his security, but chose to ignore the threat. The president was led to his car and sat at the back with his wife, Melania. Trump scrolled through TikTok on his phone and got flashbacks to when no one attended his rally. </p><p>"Damn it, Melania! This is all FAKE NEWS. That's it, this is the final straw," He said before he aggressively scrolled to Twitter and posted that he will banning TikTok for the 3rd time. </p><p>The president's driver was plotting with the imposter and went off course. Trump was too busy crying over TikTok but Melania had noticed that they were going the wrong way and was ready to yell at him.</p><p>"Hey, driver guy! You were supposed to take a le- OH MY GOD," </p><p>The car suddenly made a sharp turn and crashed into a tree where a cat was hiding with two teenagers. The group emerged from the shadows and cleared their throats.</p><p>"Prepare for trouble," said the girl<br/>
"Make it double," it was the guy's turn.<br/>
"To protect the world from devastation,"<br/>
"To unite all peoples within our nation,"<br/>
"To denounce the evils of politics and lies,"<br/>
"To extend our reaches to the moderator that you tortured in the debate,"<br/>
"Jessie!"<br/>
"James,"<br/>
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light,"<br/>
"Surrender now or prepare to lose votes,"<br/>
"Meowth! That's right!" The cat finally spoke- wait... the cat SPOKE?</p><p>Donald was shaken up and bleeding from the impact of crashing. He looked up at the three criminals who stood ahead of him. His vision was blurry and he couldn't make out what they looked like, or even hear.</p><p>"I'm sorry who did you say you were?.." Trump said with confusion and anger in his voice.</p><p>"Did you not listen to a word we said?! We had that speech planned out for MONTHS before kidnapping you and you didn't even listen?" Jessie said angrily. </p><p>"I'm a politician, I don't listen," he laughed at Jessie. Honestly though, she should have understood that.</p><p>The cat karate kicked the president in the face, causing him to pass out. Melania was right beside him, also passed out. Jessie and James threw a fish net over the entire car and dragged it to their hot air balloon. They threw it inside and tried to go up but the weight of the car was pulling them down.</p><p>"Did we HAVE to bring the entire car? I get it's nice and all but we won't even get up with it on board," the cat said before dragging Donald out of the car and chucking it out of the balloon. </p><p>The balloon went up and Team Rocket blasted off again, this time with the president. They finally succeeded with a mission. Their boss would pay them greatly for this.</p><p>Biden was back at home bathing with champagne. He knew he won the debate, even some of Trump's supporters were siding with him. He sipped his champagne   and read 50 Shades of Grey. A man knocked on the bathroom door and walked in. He was very mysterious, wearing all black and having an opened umbrella. Biden gasped when he saw the umbrella. It was bad luck but he said nothing because he was afraid the man would kill him.</p><p>"Sir, Biden. Donald has been kidnapped by those vicious criminals... Team Rocket. We are unsure as to where they are holding him hostage but saving him could earn you a lot of votes," the man said before walking out of the bathroom, leaving Biden in shock. </p><p>This was Joe's time to shine. He shouted for his maids to bring him his ass-kicking clothes. They came in immediately with an all black set of clothes and began to dress and style him. If he was to rescue the president, he had to do it fashionably. This is the way. One of the maids shoved a toothpick in Joe's mouth. It was part of his aesthetic to chew on one when doing this type of stuff. Joe tipped his fedora and made his way out. He jumped into his batmobile that he stole from some furry that thought he was a bat. It was one of his harder missions but he still managed to steal it. Furries terrified him. </p><p>Joe blasted off in his batmobile. </p><p>Would he succeed? Would he rescue the president who he hated more than anyone?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Rescuing the Orange</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Joe starts his search for the president but things take a big turn when he wanders into the swamp. The swamp where no one ever came out alive.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Donald woke up, now inside a warehouse chained up to a wall. Although there was duct tape over his mouth, he still tried to scream at Jessie, James, and Meowth but it was all muffled. Meowth ripped off the duct tape. Trump immediately started yelling at the cat to let him go.</p><p>"IF YOU DON'T LET ME GO, I WON'T WIN THE ELECTION! WHO ELSE WILL BRING BACK FOOTBALL?" </p><p>Meowth was surprised by how intelligent the president sounded. He was going to bring back football! Isn't that a wonderful thing to do when there's a pandemic? Meowth thought it was, at least. The cat was about to untie Trump, but Jame walked in and pointed a laser so Meowth would get away from the president.</p><p>'Stupid cat,' James thought before walking over to Trump. He stared him straight down, wondering why the boss would want HIM rather than anyone else.</p><p>Donald spat at James, which earned him a painful punch in the face. </p><p>"Who sent you?! Was it TikTok?! I KNEW TikTok was up to no good this all their doing! If only the stupid democrats listened to me and let me ban the app," Trump said with anger.</p><p>The girl later walked in and flipped her hair as an attempt to seduce Trump and get money from him. Trump, of course, gave her the money.</p><p>Joe Biden drove through the city of Cleveland, Ohio. The wind that came in from his opened window made his hair dance. He was afraid it would fall off since it was a wig, but he was determined to find Donald, so he closed the window and tipped his fedora once more. He chewed on his toothpick as he drove around in the batmobile he stole.</p><p> Where was he? Where was Donald? Thoughts filled his head while he wondered if this was all worth it. Was Donald even worth saving? Why has he looking to rescue his biggest enemy, the one who insulted his son, the one that was a TERRIBLE president. Joe sighed and spat out the toothpick. He continued to drive until he saw a swamp entrance. If Team Rocket had a secret lair, wouldn't it be somewhere no one would ever look? Somewhere where once you go in, you never come out. </p><p>Joe opened his door and walked out. He put his sunglasses on to look more dramatic and lit a cigarette. He started to smoke as he walked through the swamp. It was very muddy. Footprints were going far into the endless swamp. Joe sighed, hesitant to follow the footprints. He shook his head and sighed once more.</p><p>"Do it for the vin- I mean votes," he inhaled deeply and started to follow the footprints that would lead him to a very dark place.</p><p>As he walked deeper into the forest, the sound of screaming became more audible. He sure hoped it was Trump, but he couldn't help but worry for Donald. Joe walked some more. There was no turning back now. If he backed out now, this all would have been for nothing. He would lose his votes. He was distracted when he heard someone scream.</p><p>"GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!" said a green beast. </p><p>The beast looked familiar to Joe, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Then he remembered the Shrek movies and gasped. Joe heard another voice shortly after. It sounded like that Kermit guy he saw on TV a few times. Joe hid behind a tree and eavesdropped. </p><p>The other voice Joe heard was not Kermit, but Kermit's long lost twin brother, Kerwit. Kerwit was arguing with Shrek about buying his land, but Shrek wouldn't budge. Joe had stepped on a branch accidentally, diverting Shrek and Kerwit's attention to him. The two green creatures looked at the tree then went back to arguing since they didn't notice Joe. </p><p>Joe heard running coming from behind and turned around, only to see that a donkey was coming at him with full speed. He screamed, now the two green creatures knew he was there for sure. The donkey ran right into Joe, causing Joe to hit his head on a tree and knock himself out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Green Beasts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Biden wakes up inside a mysterious place.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chaos.</p><p>All of the news channels erupted with panic as soon as CNN reported that the president, Donald Trump, was kidnapped by the vicious criminal group, Team Rocket. Fox News agreed with CNN for once as they put their rivalry aside to put out articles regarding the whereabouts of Donald Trump.</p><p>Melania was at home throwing a party with all her friends. The day she'd been waiting for had finally arrived and she would not let it go to waste. </p><p>Trump, meanwhile, was paying off Team Rocket to let him go, which of course failed, considering their boss would kill them if they didn't bring him. Instead, they tricked him and said they'd release him if he paid more money. Trump, being dumb, continued to pay them but only realized what they were doing when it was too late. </p><p>Trump was filled with worry. He didn't know if he was going to see Melania again... His beautiful, loving wife. He was sure she never loved him but he loved her. He thought about his children. He never got to date Ivanka... Was it too late now? She couldn't have fallen for someone else, right? Suddenly his thoughts skipped to Joe. The person he hated most, the person he was running against. Why was he thinking of him? Out of everyone he could have thought of, it had to be Joe. </p><p>He sighed and let out an old man cough that almost shattered Team Rocket's eardrums. </p><p>Meowth was counting all the money they got from tricking Donald. "I can't wait to pay my taxes with this money!!" the cat said excitedly for some reason.</p><p>"Pay taxes? Why in the world would you want to pay taxes? They are useless! I only paid $750," Donald's voice could be heard from the basement. </p><p>Joe Biden woke up in a very dark and mysterious place. His head ached due to the donkey charging right at him. Joe tried to punch his head to make it feel better but that made it even worse. He screeched in pain. Joe finally acknowledged where he was. It seemed like he was inside a basement. It smelled like rat piss and wet dog mixed and he despised it. Joe plugged his nose and tried to walk around but he couldn't see anything, plus the floor was a mess with different things on it that Biden kept tripping over. </p><p>Biden sighed in defeat before sitting down. The only possible explanation was that the green creatures kidnapped him. Great. First Trump now him. He just HAD to go after him. Why did he have to be so stupid, going after the person that made his life a living hell? And why was he feeling this way about him? Why was he so determined to save him no matter what? Joe put his head down for a bit until the room was lit up by the basement door opening. His head immediately came up and his eyes met with the sexy beast, Shrek. </p><p>'Woah..' he thought. He'd never seen an ogre as hot as the one that just stood before him.</p><p>Joe felt the need to bow down. Shrek just radiated that king's energy and he knew it. Joe dropped to his knees and bowed down to the ogre. Shrek was confused as to why this thing was bowing down to him. Shrek put one hand out and picked up Biden effortlessly. Biden screamed in terror as Shrek was moving him closer to his mouth but he was only moving him closer to observe him. </p><p>Shrek suddenly yelled out to someone, "KERWIT! WHAT IS THIS THING? AND WHY ISN'T IT GREEN?!" </p><p>The other green creature, Kerwit came down the stairs. "That's a human you fucking spoon," it said. </p><p>Shrek's mouth formed an O-shape kind of thing as he slowly put Joe down. Joe was traumatized. Never in his life had he been this scared, except for the debate. He thought they were going to extort him, or even worse, eat him. What they did next was something he never expected. The two green creatures invited him to their tea party with the donkey that ran at him earlier. He didn't decline the offer since he was scared they'd kill him.</p><p>The tea party wasn't as bad as Joe thought it was! Shrek was a wonderful cook and made the best tea Joe had ever had. The four talked about themselves and got to know each other. </p><p>Joe cleared his throat before asking a question he was dreading to ask for the entire party, "Would you guys help me look for the president? I need the votes and if I save him I will get them all on my side.." </p><p>The trio, of course, accepted. They all got their fighting gear and loaded their slingshots.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Betrayal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Biden and his new team go after Team Rocket. What could go wrong? </p><p>Betrayal, murder, twisted lies.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A week had passed since the president's kidnapping. </p><p>The government was working hastily to find out where Team Rocket was holding Donald Trump captive. Melania was having an overnight spa with her friends as a way to celebrate the orange finally being gone. This was the happiest moment of her life, not even her kids could compete. </p><p>"What will you do if he dies?" one of Melania's friends asked, secretly hoping she would share the money she would get. </p><p>Melania thought her friend was an idiot. What else was she gonna do? Mourn? No. "Are you stupid? I'll obviously take all the money and buy us a private island," she laughed, her friends laughed with her.</p><p>Biden and his team were working on a plan to defeat Team Rocket and rescue Trump. Biden slammed his paperclip against the table whenever they messed up on the plan.</p><p>"NO, SHREK! WE ARE SNEAKING IN NOT PARACHUTING DOWN WITH BOMBS YOU DINGUS- wait where's Donkey?" Biden asked as soon as he noticed Donkey wasn't with them. </p><p>Shrek started walking to Donkey's room and opened the door. Donkey was laying there, asleep with his phone out. Shrek carefully picked up the phone and read through it. He gasped and ran out to Biden.</p><p>"I believe we have a traitor on our team," he showed Biden the phone.</p><p>Biden was shocked. How could Donkey betray them and tell Team Rocket their plan? How could Donkey throw away their week-long relationship like it was nothing? He had a lot of explaining to do. Kerwit came behind Biden to read the phone and was also shocked. Biden ran to Donkey. He picked him up and pinned him against the wall aggressively.</p><p>"HARDE-" Donkey was about to speak but realized what was happening. </p><p>"WHY WOULD YOU TELL TEAM ROCKET OUR PLAN?! YOU'RE OUT DONKEY, YOU'RE DONE. I NEVER THOUGH YOU WOULD BETRAY US," Biden said with tears in his eyes. Donkey was his favorite and he just betrayed them. He betrayed their nation. Biden tightened his grip around Donkey's neck until he was pulled back by Shrek.</p><p>Shrek was a bit shocked as well but he was known to keep his calm in situations like this. He pushed Joe out of the room before he pulled Donkey and took a seat. Shrek cleared his throat and slammed his fists against the table.</p><p>"WHO SENT YOU- wait we already know that was Team Rocket... Ahem-  Why would you do this, Donkey? You're our brother.." Shrek said sadly before staring at Donkey, awaiting his answer.</p><p>Donkey shook his head quickly. "It wasn't me, I swear! I would never side with those criminals... Please believe me, Shrek," he said with a sad look in his eyes.</p><p>Shrek sighed before throwing Donkey outside. That was how they dealt with traitors in the swamp. The last person to betray them was Shrek's wife, Fiona. It broke Shrek's heart to see her get thrown outside like that... Today, he lost another person he loved due to Team Rocket. Shrek was not going to let this continue. Today was the day he put an end to Team Rocket.</p><p>-</p><p>Donald Trump was in Team Rocket's base, screaming for help. Jessie and James were laughing at him because they soundproofed the entire house. Meowth was still counting all the money they got from Donald. The three planned to keep that money for themselves and not tell their boss about it since they have a low paycheck. Suddenly their house started shaking. Meowth dropped the money and ran to the window and saw three figures parachuting down while throwing bombs. </p><p>"THEY CHANGED THEIR PLAN! I REPEAT, THEIR PLAN HAS BEEN CHANGED! THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT OUR SPY!" Meowth shouted as he started to throw all the money in bags.</p><p>Jessie and James started panicking and they started to load the bags of money into their disguised trucks. They decided to make them look like an ice cream truck so no one would be suspicious of them. Suddenly a hole broke through the ceiling and Shrek jumped down, accidentally crushing Meowth. Meowth screamed for help but it was muffled by Shrek's weight. Donald heard all the noise upstairs and decided to scream for help. Joe jumped in with his parachute and ran down to the basement.</p><p>"EW WHY ARE YOU HERE? I WANT A REPUBLICAN NOT ONE OF YOU FILTHY DEMOCRATS!" Donald said as soon as he saw Joe.</p><p>Joe ignored Donald and untied him. He helped Donald up and they made eye contact for a second or two. Joe immediately got butterflies. 'Snap it out of it, Joe...' He thought to himself before leading Trump out of the basement. Reinforcements started to arrive that were sent by Team Rocket's boss. Joe and Shrek were surrounded, Kerwit nowhere to be found. This was it, they lost.</p><p>That's what they all thought until a donkey came in and karate kicked 5 people at once. Joe nodded to Donkey as a thank you and lead Donald to their helicopter. Shrek had noticed another person that was out of place. The person wasn't wearing suits like the reinforcements, or Team Rocket's uniforms. They were wearing a dark robe and had an anonymous mask on. Shrek ran after them. </p><p>The mysterious figure started running as well but found himself at a dead-end when he walked into the laundry room. Shrek pushed him against the wall and took the mask off to reveal...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Pity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The identity of the traitor is revealed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The mysterious figure started running as well but found himself at a dead-end when he walked into the laundry room. Shrek pushed him against the wall and took the mask off to reveal... </p><p>Kerwit. </p><p>It was all Kerwit's doing. He was the one that planted the phone next to Donkey. He was the one that betrayed his brothers. </p><p>Shrek could feel the tears building up in his eyes as he clenched his fist. He was hesitant at first but he knew what had to be done. With all his strength, he punched Kerwit and knocked him out. He wiped the tears that came out of his eyes and threw Kerwit over his shoulder. Shrek ran to the helicopter that held Donald and the rest of the team and jumped in. Right as he entered he started smashing everything around him. If it weren't for Donkey stopping him, Shrek would have caused the entire helicopter to crash. They flew back to the swamp with Donald and Joe pressed a button that caused Team Rocket's headquarters to go up in flames.</p><p>Shrek stomped over to his room with Kerwit and threw him down on the floor. He got strawberries and shoved them down Kerwit's throat, knowing he was allergic. Kerwit woke up instantly and started coughing. Shrek stabbed him with an EpiPen. He didn't want Kerwit to die just yet. He was his brother. Shrek sighed, unsure of what to say. He stared at Kerwit in silence before clearing his throat.</p><p>Screaming could be heard from Shrek's room. It sounded like chaos, even Donald was praying for Kerwit.</p><p>Shrek beat Kerwit up for hours. He then grabbed him and went to their UFO. Shrek flew all the way up to space then threw Kerwit out. Shortly after, a sentence formed behind him that said "Kerwit was ejected."</p><p>Joe led Trump to a random room in Shrek's hut. 

</p>
<p> He glanced at Donald with worry in his eyes. Donald looked even uglier than usual. It was very concerning. </p><p>"Did they hurt you?" Joe asked Donald. He hoped he'd say yes but at the same time, he wanted him to say no. </p><p>"Why do you care? This is why you're stupid Joe, I'm telling you this is all fake news I was NOT kidnapped! So damn nosy..." Donald replied and made himself look even more stupid than he already was.</p><p>Joe sighed and shook his head in response. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was Donald's brain that tiny? How dumb does he have to be? He was literally SAVED by Joe and he had the audacity to say he never got kidnapped in the first place. Never had he wanted to punch someone this badly. Joe clenched his fist but realized that Donald was staring at him with loving eyes. Joe eased down and lightly blushed. Why was he feeling like this? Joe did the Debby Ryan at Trump and hoped that he would make a move. Donald started to lean in as Joe sat there, frozen. He gulped as Trump got closer and closer, but was shocked when Trump wiped something off his nose.</p><p>"There was some dirt on your nose... Stupid democrats can't even take care of themselves!" Donald said angrily. He was far cleaner than Joe, or at least that's what he thought. He was a mess.</p><p>Joe was a bit upset to say the least. Jill just wasn't doing it for him and he craved affection, even if it was from his worst enemy. As hurt as he was, Joe hid it and tried to think of a comeback to what he just said.</p><p>"Oh please, look at you. You look like a mess! Even your spray tan is worse than usual," Joe said. He only meant part of it... He secretly thought Donald looked hot as ever.</p><p>Donald looked down at his ugly feet. Joe's words actually hit hard.. Melania would always make fun of his spray tan too, and he always cried then beat her up. Donald's life wasn't as good as he made it look on social media. In fact, it was terrible. His entire family hated him and took advantage of his money, especially Melania. Melania would force him to give her money to go out shopping with her 'girlies' then she'd come back drunk. She'd yell hurtful things at Donald before stealing his room and making him sleep on the floor. Ivanka, on the other hand, loved her dad. Some may say she loved him a little too much but it's fine. At times, Donald thought of dropping out and letting Mike Pence be the president from all the stress he went through. A single tear fell out of his eye and that was enough to get Joe's attention. </p><p>Joe wondered if he should comfort Donald. He'd most likely snap at him if he tried but he still pitied him. Joe knew what he was going through because of the spies he sent to the white house. They'd give him a weekly report on what was going on and every report got darker and darker. Although he was a terrible person, Joe went through the same thing with his ex so he knew how he felt. Joe gently put his arm over Donald's shoulders as his way of comforting him. Neither of them said anything because the second they did, they'd probably start yelling at each other. This had been the most comfort Donald felt in years. Melania could never. He felt his stomach doing splits and swore at it in his mind because gay bad. Donald lifted his head up and glanced at Joe. Joe was staring this entire time and that made Donald even more nervous.</p><p>Joe started to get closer and closer to Donald. Soon, Donald was leaning in as well.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Donkey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tragedy erupts in the swamp.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Donald and Joe knew this was all wrong but for some reason, they couldn't resist each other. When Donald looked into Joe's eyes, he always dreamed that he would be his Sleepy Joe for life and they could move out of the United States, maybe to Hawaii, and have 3 kids. Joe, on the other hand, was conflicted. He loved Jill but whenever he looked at Donald, it all just felt right.. It felt like fate wanted them to be together even though they were the worst of enemies. Nevertheless, he knew what he wanted and it was Donald's love. Even if it took a long time to earn it, he wouldn't give up just yet. He would keep fighting until Donald loved him back.</p><p>The two old men were getting closer and closer until Donkey came busting down the door. They immediately backed away, hoping that Donkey didn't see anything, and looked at the shocked Donkey, who was panting aggressively. Donkey was panicking far too much to notice what was about to go down before he came in.</p><p>"THE TRUMP SUPPORTERS- THEY ARE ATTACKING THE SWAMP THEY THINK WE TOOK DONALD!" said Donkey with horror in his voice. </p><p>"What do you mean THINK? You guys kidnapped me this is all fake news! I will personally file a lawsuit after this is all ove-" The sound of an explosion cut Donald off.</p><p>Joe activated his rescue mode and grabbed Donald's hand and led him to a secret escape route. Donald blushed a little because Joe was holding his sweaty, stinky hand. Donkey followed after them after boarding up the doors and windows with Shrek. He put in the code to open their emergency escape and the two ran off into the swamp. Donkey noticed that the doors and windows were about to be destroyed by the zombie-like Trump supporters.  He turned around and his eyes met with Shrek, who was gathering resources just in case they got lost in the swamp.</p><p>"Shrek... you have to go. They're almost inside and those two fools need you. I'll hold them off as long as I can," Donkey said with a sad smile. He wasn't sure of what the outcome would be but if he went down, it would have been for his friends, his brothers.</p><p>The ogre shook his head, "No, Donkey! You can't fight all of them... you'll die! I can't lose you like I lost Kerwit and Fiona.." Shrek said with a discouraging voice. </p><p>Donkey looked at Shrek unhappily. He didn't want to hurt him in any way, so he lied. "I will be fine, Shrek. I have a way to fight them. I'll see you soon... my brother."</p><p>Tears were filling Shrek's eyes. Without any further words, Shrek smashed his lips against Donkey's. Shrek didn't feel that way towards Donkey, he was just caught in the moment and so was Donkey. They shared a passionate but brotherly kiss and they parted ways. Donkey pulled out something that hadn't been seen in years.... a lightsaber. Not just one, but two. Donkey stood in the center of the hut and waited for the zombi- err, Trump Supporters to come in and start attacking. The boards slowly began to bust open and the cultists swarmed in. Donkey ignited both of his lightsabers while doing an epic backflip then stabbed an old white woman named Karen. More of Trump's supporters started to charge at him and he took out most of them. He continued fighting and managed to get most of them.</p><p>"ALL LIVES MATTER!" said a Trump Supporter before shooting Donkey. </p><p>Donkey's body fell on the floor with a loud thud. All the supporters started cheering for their victory then started trashing the house looking for their cult leader. One of the supporters set off fireworks inside as a victory stunt but accidently killed himself and a few others.</p><p>Shrek heard the firework and looked back with sadness in his eyes. He knew... He knew that his brother was gone. The hut erupted into a large fire shortly after. Shrek sighed and turned back to Joe and Donald. Those two were like idiots, especially Donald, who was trying to climb every tree he saw. 20 minutes had passed and Shrek was counting how many times Donald fell off a tree. So far, he had counted up to 37. Shrek needed a distraction. Counting how many times those oldies were being idiots wasn't enough. He just lost his brother. Although he didn't see the body yet, he felt their connection break shortly before the firework went off. Shrek quietly wiped a few tears off his face while he revisited his best memories with Donkey. His mind went to the time where they traveled with Fiona. His best memory. He remembered how Donkey was there through it all for him, even as strangers. </p><p>Meanwhile, Joe was trying to think of the right words to say to the orange, clueless about what happened to Donkey. Hell, he didn't even notice Donkey wasn't with them. Joe scratched the back of his neck before speaking up.</p><p>"Hey, uh- we never got to finish what we were doing earlier HAHHA-" Biden instantly shut his mouth. What he meant to do was ask about how those supporters found their location but that slipped out instead.</p><p>"WHAT?!?!?! I TRY TO KISS YOU! THAT'S FAKE NEWS SLEEPY JOE. NEWS FLASH, I'M WINNING THIS ELECTION AND DEPORTING YOU OUT OF THE UNITED STATES AND TO ALASKA! SO SUCK IT BECAUSE I'M WINNING. JOE BIDEN? MORE LIKE JOE MAMA," Donald started going off for no reason at all.</p><p>Joe had a very confused look on his face. "I never said anything about kissing... and you babbling baboon, Alaska IS in the United States!" Joe snapped back.</p><p>"Fine, I'll deport you to Hawaii then! Checkmate liberal," Donald replied.</p><p>Joe said nothing and sighed. Just when he thought Donald was decent, his mouth opened and that changed his mind right away. It got dark and the three decided to sleep in a cave for the night and make their way out of the swamp during the day.</p><p>"HAHAH LOOK, HE'S REALLY A SLEEPY JOE NOW-" Trump said but Shrek cut him off by earthbending a large rock at him. Donald screamed and threw himself on the floor to avoid it.</p><p>They all slept peacefully once Donald shut up. Meanwhile, the trump supporters had dogs that were tracking down their scent and they were just hours away.</p>
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